The academic code of silence has to be broken at some point. Although it won’t benefit me personally, with this open letter I hope to raise awareness on the problems that I have experienced so far, and that many of my friends in research experienced at some point. I will here focus on two main issues: temporary employment and workplace, as the impossibility of seeking a long-term life routine, and the “once a student, always a student” view in Academia, as the inability to recognize workers’ value.
My first experience in academia was during my bachelor studies, spending >5 months in a wet lab, one of the best regarding funding and opportunities in my hometown. Already there, I witnessed how unfair the working conditions of phd students, postdocs and senior researchers could be. The salary was not adequate to the cost of living in a big city, and many labmates were working over time and prioritizing science over their life. I was astonished as a student that was considering a career in academia, because everybody in my family, myself included, thought that a PhD is valued as the highest form of education and can get anyone a job that satisfies them, makes them happy, pays decently and gives them the perspective of a fulfilling life. Naively, I thought the reason that my expectations were not matched was that my home country has limited funding for science and there are no permanent positions besides a professorship.
I then moved to a different country for my PhD, as I believed that this experience would be positive for me and that I would have been treated as a worker and not as a student. Although the working conditions were much better than in my home country, I realized that everyone at the institute was under tremendous pressure. I too, during the first year, felt so much pressure to perform well in such a competitive environment that I stopped anything else I was doing and focused on work. Stopped exercising, stopped taking breaks and, at the end of each day, I was in such a low mood, tired and grumpy that I had no energy to do anything else other than eat and go to bed. This was disturbing for me, I have been a very active person between sports and volunteering my whole life, but I had no energy for that anymore.
Two years in, I had found a decent balance. The PhD project was going very well and we were close to a publication. I finally made some good friends at the institute and outside the institute. Then, more or less at the same time, the Covid pandemic hit and I learned that my group would be moving to a different country, and my friends too will leave as their group leader was also going to move. This was seriously shocking. I could not imagine moving my whole life to a different place when I am 45 years old. While worried for the future, at the time I took it as a new adventure and an opportunity for myself to see how a lab is established in a new environment. As I started to plan for the move, my partner could not find any suitable job for themselves that would pay enough to live without asking our parents for money. My salary was also going to drop significantly with respect to the contractual conditions that I had agreed on. Therefore, we decided that it was better for them to stay and for me to move to finish my PhD. This period of my life was highly stressful and challenged my mental health. With the pandemic, it became very uncertain when I would be able to travel to see my partner and my family, always fearing to remain stuck in different countries because of lockdowns. It was also impossible to make friends during this time and I felt incredibly lonely, I therefore asked to go back to my previous institute, in the position that I was hired for and that was still paying my salary. My group leader was very supportive and brought up these issues with the institute management. Despite the situation, we were made clear that returning to the institute was not an option, unless I started the PhD over in a different group. Changing countries is part of the job, we were told, and I should be grateful that I was given the opportunity to “network” with people from two different institutes during my PhD. My group leader was also told not to care as much about the personal life of their employees. This is a mistake, as the productivity of a lab, for which high profile institutes care so much, depends entirely on the students, postdocs and technicians that work in it. The employer should take in great consideration the mental and physical health of the employees, especially in a high-pressure job such as the researcher in academia. I gave more than 100% of my energy for the PhD, and one of the rewards I got was a growing anxiety for the future. I am passionate about what I do, I love several aspects of my job but it is also just a job. It should not define us as people, and should leave us scarred with mental health issues. Such a high-risk job with short term contracts, workplace instability and pressure for publications should be rewarded either with a much higher salary or with more stability for the researcher. We should not be asked to move around like we were packages. We have families, friends, hobbies that keep us mentally sane, and having to drop everything every 2-3 years is exhausting. This is unfortunately the reality for most of the researchers, and it does not stop necessarily when reaching the group leader level.
After the PhD, I moved to Germany with my partner to start a postdoc. We both like the labs that we are working in, but we know that this is just temporary. In 3 years, we might have to build our life in a different place. So why bother making an effort to build relationships? To lose them all again? On top of this issue, it is clear now that despite having +6y of research experience, postdocs here are still treated as students. I am given no extra responsibilities and no freedom of research direction. I am considered as a person that still needs to be trained, despite several publications. When does a researcher become a worker? When are we going to be considered as the professionals we are? We never get recognition for the amount and quality of work we do, and this does not help maintain the motivation high. The result is often sloppy science, and this is not what I came for and hurts the scientific community. Many times I think I want to go home, do a different job that I might like much less, but that won’t negatively impact my life this much. I am worried for myself and my friends, that we are becoming more and more isolated and alienated because of the hours spent at work, to be treated as if we were worth nothing. We are the highest specialized professionals, and our contracts and tasks should reflect this.
I worry that pursuing this job has changed me as a person, but not in a positive way. I worry that I am not dedicating enough time to my family and to myself. I worry that all these sacrifices will be for nothing.