About 3 years ago I was finishing my 1st postdoc. It was in the middle of the pandemic; my contract was ending and because of family reasons I was not able to look for new career options outside of Dresden. It is because of the pressure of time and circumstances that I decided to accept a position with someone who gave me red flags already during the interview process. One of them was asking me about my family planning, including whether I am or planning to get pregnant in the near future. I was disturbed by this experience and even consulted a Gender Equality officer at my previous workplace but was told there is not much to be done about it.
Very fast I realized that the red flags were indeed correct – the atmosphere of the institute was that of intimidation. It was expected of everyone that we should be working unpaid overtime, it was not so much implied as directly voiced by the professor. There was constant criticism and micromanaging going on with very little to no guidance when problems arose. Between teaching and research everyone was given more tasks that it was possible during a normal working day or even reasonable overtime. I found myself working 60+ hours per week, spending weekends and evenings preparing teaching only to receive criticism for not doing enough. And if performed well that was just shrugged off as merely doing what was expected.
The worst part was that we were subjected to regular one on one meetings with him during which we were encouraged to criticize our coworkers and we had to face anonymous accusations of the ‘I was told by someone you did this and that wrong’ category with no ability to defend ourselves or even knowing if these alleged complaints are true or made up by the boss. In addition to this the professor was badmouthing other employees in front of me and did the same about me in front of others to the point every time someone would come out of his office people would ask ‘what did he say about me this time?’ These criticisms were not only related to work performance but also included personally demeaning and sexist comments. For instance, he criticized one of the female technical staff as ‘dumb as a brick’ or talked about a male colleague as unattractive and still single in this 40s. I was also told to do things I consider unethical and scolded for refusing. As an example, I was told I should flirt with my male coworker and take him out for beers in order to motivate him to work better. In another episode I was told to suggest one of my coworkers to an editor as a potential reviewer for our publication. This person was at the time working in the same group but the boss wanted to hide his affiliation with us by using his still active e-mail address from a previous institution. The final straw for me was when we submitted a publication to a journal and received reviewers’ comments shortly before Easter holidays. We had ample time to finish after the holidays (the reviews were generally good) and I my family was visiting so I decided not to work over Easter and spend this time with them instead. During this short holiday I received an angry e-mail scolding me for being irresponsible and telling me basically how dare I take time off for my family. After that I finished the publication and immediately went to my family doctor to ask for sick leave. At that point I was permanently overworked and so stressed that I was visibly shaking and couldn’t sleep. I also had nightmares about my boss and could not relax even in my off time. I used the sick leave to calm down and look for another job.
Here I’d like to add that my experience is not unique – during my short time in that group there were multiple people quitting, all for the same reasons as me: toxic workplace atmosphere. I know also from at least one other person who left after me and this person also complained to me about his mental health after just a year in this institute. People who stayed did so mostly because of the lack of alternatives and inability to move because of financial and/or family reasons. Some of these people did postpone their medical treatment due to pressure and ended up with serious problems. I saw adult women in their 40-50s cry because of how they were treated by the boss. I even contacted the anti-mobbing office of the TUD but was basically told that it’s difficult for me to launch a complaint without jeopardizing my job prospects so I did not. Neither did any of my colleagues – most of them are on time-restricted contracts (despite being there for years and doing ‘Dauerausgaben’ such as regular teaching duties) so they are afraid of causing trouble. Sadly, as long as people in positions of power would be allowed to behave like with impunity this a lot of talented people will be leaving TUD with burnout, depression, anxiety, PTSD and other mental health issues. We need better vetting process for prospective professors and institute directors and we need better protections for the victims.